I watch you

silently

wishing

[I think]

you were their toy

I'm jealous

because I wish you were mine

I'm jealous because I wish

for too much

 

I wish

I could move my hand

four inches

to my right

to touch yours

I wish I could bury my face

in your neck

and my cheek

on your shoulder

 

and I sit instead

I sit

hands folded around a metro map

the picture of a professor

"Arrangement in Grey and Black"

in pain

and I hide it so well

you scarcely see it

 

you don't see the image

in my head

of your lips and hands

you don't realize

or care

that I eat your smooth ice cream

as a substitute

for eating you

devouring your image

and voice

and soul

with my mind

so I can feed on the memory

when I'm alone

again

as always

 

but I'm alone here too

invisible

to the students

as they play

and flirt

to strangers

on the train

and most of all to you

just another face

on the metro

gone at the next stop